Completed: Home Study and a Home Going

There is much to celebrate and much to mourn. We celebrate having received official notification of our completed home study. And we mourn, having received in the same week the news of the passing of my beloved Uncle Cecil (obituary here). 

But we do not mourn as those who have no hope (1 Thess 4:13). While our home study marks the beginning of new life for us, so, too, does the home going for Uncle Cecil. His new life in the Father’s house is the celebration of his adoption as a child of God. That adoption is the great adoption that inspires our pursuit. 

My home is emptier for Uncle Cecil no longer being on this earth. Typing that brings tears. He was the most funny and most friendly… the most clever and most kind. Some of the pics below with my boys are evidence of that. 

The emptiness is a great pain, but that’s because he made my home fuller. He did the same for everyone. That I get to share thoughts on that at his funeral service next week is a great honor of my life. For now, and in this space I’ll tell you how his life is one of the key lives that inspires our adoption.

My Uncle Cecil's Love of Family

Thanksgiving was big for me—because it was small (just my immediate family and the annual tradition of sharing the meal with Uncle Cecil and Aunt Alyson). They’d come to stay with us for multiple days and we had just them to ourselves. I not only enjoyed Uncle Cecil, but I enjoyed his enjoyment of us. It was genuine and marked with gratitude. It was a gratitude he also expressed when speaking of other extended family members from his side. He spoke about them in a way that didn’t make you jealous of other relationships—it made you want to appreciate all the more the ones you were blessed with. It made you understand that love was capable of being multiplied without subtracting from others.

His love of family was, of course, unrivaled when it came to my aunt. From earliest memories, I remember wanting my future marriage to mimic their enjoyment of one another. Theirs was a love of mutual respect and romance, of honor given and honor received. The security of a strong marital relationship is a great gift to the children who observe it. 

My Uncle Cecil as a Father Figure

My uncle had no biological children, but he was a man who loved as a father: he nourished, he protected. He did this for the nieces and nephews who were part of his family. He did this for friends. And his later nursing career at a local high school allowed him to care not only for the physical needs of those students, but to care also for the souls. He showed the boundless nature of love in extending it to those who had nothing to offer in return; and he showed the committed nature of love as the consummate medical professional giving care to any in his charge. 

My Uncle Cecil's Gift

I don’t know how to label this particular ability, but being with my Uncle Cecil left you wanting to be more like him while also being more confident and content with your own identity. That’s a gift. When he was present, you were confident all would be well; he somehow did that without you feeling inadequate… you were, in fact, reassured after time with him. He was quick to compliment and slow to complain. He was a keen and compassionate observer. You enjoyed his quiet or his conversation. 

Carrying on the Legacy

The Lord blesses us with relationships, and they are eternal investments. He saw fit to give us Uncle Cecil. And the Lord will one day give him back to us. And we will all be given to one another in ways this mortal flesh could never manage. No good is ever wasted. All shall be redeemed. Until then, our goal in this adoption is to extend the love of our home the way that my uncle did: to value our earthly family in light of a higher, heavenly one; to love beyond the boundaries of bloodlines; to make others aware and appreciative of their own identity as we encourage and enjoy one another.

We are grieved at the prospect of children who’ll never meet Uncle Cecil, but we are reminded, especially this Easter week, that an eternal reunion awaits. 

You lived well, Uncle. You loved well. We will multiply that love. 

I miss you. 

I will see you again.